"Today is not my favorite day but it's for sure not my worst." As I was driving back toward my office finishing my lunch break today with tears filling my eyes wanting to spill out, that was the thought that came to my mind. In the last month to two months I have been battling some medical issues. I've shared little bits and pieces on Facebook and twitter but haven't really gone in to it all and I'm not really now. But know that I'm totally fine and I'm working my way back to "normal". (I use normal that way because there is no such thing as normal) The short story is my hormones are all out of whack and have me on an emotional roller coaster from time to time, today being one of those days. And on top of that I might have some kidney issues going on and today I happen to be in pain. I'm toughing through to discomfort to come to work but it's hard to be happy go lucky Mandy when all I want to do is cry and lay in my bed. Luckily it's getting better as the day goes on.
So anyway I'm driving back to work and this thought pops in to my mind, today isn't my favorite day but it's not my worst day...and I started trying to think of what I would consider my worst day being. I thought I bet I know what others would say I would say my worst day would be and I bet they'd say the day I lost my leg. But I don't think it would be that day. If I think back to then I can't remember it that well. I was in pain and if I could vividly remember that day and what that pain felt like then I might consider it but I guess it's like child birth where you forget the pain. The Lord let me live to see another day and while that was tough going through it I don't think it would be my worst day. I was put to sleep and I don't really remember that day. And it wouldn't be the day I woke up and found out I was an amputee. That wasn't life changing in my mind. I didn't freak out, I didn't cry....I accepted and moved on. The more I think about it I try to remember what I would consider to be my worst day and luckily I can't come up with anything.
Yes I know that sounds strange. But when I think of my awful sad depressing days I would think about what happened because of that or the lesson that I learned. Basically the good that came with the bad. And I thought the Lord has been with me through all of that and He continues to be and with Him I can get through anything. I never want to test Him because I know that things could always be worse. Even when I'm having a horrible day you won't hear me say, things couldn't get worse because I know that they can! There is ALWAYS someone out there that has it worse than I do. And then I would try to think of what was worse and then I would think the Lord would be with me....and then that just makes me stop and think of how wonderful it is to know that He is always with me and will help me through any and every struggle that I face. I love knowing that. And with Him everything is possible and with Him I can do all things.
Now I the day that when someone close to me like someone in my family dies that will be the worst day ever. But I know with the Lord I will be able to get through it because of Him. Plus the promise that He has given me that I will get to see them again. And we will be in such a better place. I place with no tears, no sadness, and no more bad days. Okay just thinking about all of this I have tears streaming down my face, and I'm sitting at my desk at work (not good)!! So until our first day in Heaven I pray that we remember our worst days can always be made better through Him. He will get us through all and knowing that He's even using these bad days to molds us in to the people that He created us to be.